Cough-Cough

Been gone.
Been tired.
Been sick.
Been really sick.

Pneumonia.
Enough said...

Blizzard! Yikes! Pow! Bang! Onomatopoeia!!!

Snow all over Georgia! Snow. Snow. SNOW! Being from the Last Frontier (Alaska, for all of those non-geographically-inclined folks), I'm quite comfortable with it. But let it happen in the South and there's grounds for disaster! I had promised my little niece to come down to her birthday party (FIESTA!), but was quite nervous at the thought of driving in the weather. It's not like I could not drive in snow (after all, I've been taught how to drive in these conditions accordingly), but I was scared out of my skivvies at the thought of driving with Georgia's eminent residents.

Here's a recap of the adventure (with pictures):

Walk outside. See snow!

Take mon chien out in le snowww for an adventure. Doggie no likey. Doggie whimpers. Back inside.

Drive down SOUTH. Watch 6 car wrecks occur. See what I mean? One wreck was my favorite: said man drove past me 15 miles ago. Thirty minutes later, I drive by said man standing next to his crumpled 2008 Ford Mustang. He's got his hands on his head and is staring up at the sky. My inner dialogue machine tells me that he must have been saying, "Why God? Why?!" I giggle inside.

Niece's birthday party = FIESTA! Stereotypes are embraced here:

MORE TO COME LATER.

I've always liked conflict. In some ways, I thrive with conflict all around me. My best work is due to conflicts! But conflict, when in the midst of it, pretty much sucks.

Conflict of the Day:
Walk into work. Work turned upside down. Not enough of one thing, too much of the unimportant things. They say that 90% of teaching is improvisation. I improv. Improv is successful. I sigh. End scene...

Meme on Tuesday!

Tuesday Fun? Sure thing! :)

You just put your music player on shuffle, press forward for each question and use the song title as the answer.

1) What does next year have in store for me?
"Ol' Glory"--Psalters (a grunge hard rock spiritual Jesus band)

2) What’s my love life like?
"Come On Home"--Franz Ferdinand (hahaha.... too funny!)

3) What do I say when life gets hard?
"I'm the Slime"--Frank Zappa

4) What do I think of upon waking up?
"Don't Tickle Me"--Dane Cook (comedy sketch)

5) What song will I dance to at my wedding?
"When the Sand Runs Out"--Rascal Flatts (Oh no.....)

6) What do I want as a career?
"Dog Door"--Sparklehorse (what the heck?)

7) My favorite saying?
"Ironic"--Alanis Morisette

8) Favorite place?
"F*** New York, Los Angeles!"--Lewis Black (another comedy sketch, but ironically, it fits!)

9) What do I think of my parents?
"Seven"--Prince (this absolutely makes no sense, but Prince kicks major ass! I'm going to listen to the whole thing now..... "Don't crryyyyy, one day all seven will dieeee.... All seven and we'll watch them fall. They stand in the way of love and we will smoke them all, with their intellect and their savoir faire....I am yours now and you are mine....")

10) What’s my porn star name?
"Maddening Shroud"--Frou Frou (Who the hell wants to be known of as a shroud in bed. Dangit!)

11) Where would I go on a first date?
"Clockwatching"--Jason Mraz (odd...)

12) Drug of choice?
"Whitewash"--Gin Blossoms (Is that what they call crack these days? Sheesh, I'm so behind the times!)

13) Describe myself.
"Friendship Station"--Le Tigre (It's so true. They just flock to me! I love it, though. I wouldn't know what to do without companions!)

14) What is the thing I like doing most?
"Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy Spoof"--Beavis and Butthead (Oh man, I miss that show!)

15) What is my state of mind like at the moment?
"The Summer of Protest"--The Dears (One of my absolutely favorite songs, and it honestly fits in with my state of mind!)

16) How will I die?
"So High So Low"--Ben Harper (No, I am NOT on drugs!)

Time is money. Or, is it?

And now, for a magic trick. Are you ready, big bold world?
Did you see it? It was phenomenal. I'm sure you'd agree that it was. :)


Pish posh. Now on to more poignant things:

Joke from yesterday appeared to have no immediate repercussions. Students let it go in one ear and out of the other. Another day, another day...
But something from today that made me smile:
"Mrs. (insert-my-real-last-name-here), why are you making us think today? That's not why we come to school!" [golly jee...]

Readers, I pose a question:
Have you ever had an experience in which a conversation gets so heated that you think the entire group of people is attacking you?

I have.... And it's not good for an anxiety attack prone person.

Jokey Jokey

Today, I crossed the All-Knowing Boundary of Being Appropriate while teaching my 10th graders. I said the following joke in class:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, " Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Is it me, or do I want to get fired? But you know what, it's a hell of a lot more G-rated than the things they say, see, and DO every single day...

Stolen from Dooce. As she said, the only thing that would make this clip better is if it smelled like bacon...

Picking sand out of your boogers...

My best friend just got the call...

Off to the sand-box, formerly known as Iraq.

Oh, and I should make a note that my bro-in-law is going back for the third time this year. Fuckin' third time.

Has anyone else out there lost faith in democracy? Good. I was beginning to think I was all alone.

First thing's first...

An Introduction (of sorts)

Dear Blog-nasty...

My name's (XXXXXXXX). Tengo un gato en mis pantalones. (I've always wanted to type that.) In life, I enjoy doing many things; however, I do not enjoy many other things.

Some of the things that I do not enjoy include:::::
waiting in line
receiving bills
listening to techno mu-sak
talking about idiosyncrasy (or idioms, for that matter)
wishing for what I cannot have
trying to teach those that will not learn
being overlooked
hearing folks beg for sexual favors
jumping to conclusions
going to pointless meetings
running-running-running
keeping up with old friends (they're old for a reason, no?)
eating celery
watching people hurt others

Maybe I should have started with what I like? Okay okay, I'll just do that now:
filing papers and my fingernails
using the bathroom
cooking odd foods
reading novels that are too long for ADD-sufferers
having ADD (ohhhh.....)
playing Tetris and Duck Hunt
loving on the hubby
walking my minpin
teaching those that will learn
using my brain for the smallest of activities
contradicting myself
knowing that I'm smarter than those around me (this doesn't happen too often)
saying the following words (I know I'm terrible...): s**, d**n, frick, frickin', errrgh, pants, shiz, me, you, euthanize, reparations, indefatifable, holy, moley....

Some may call me a realist. Others may view my personality that of a pessimist. However, I like to call myself an optimistic realissimist. It has a slight ring to it, right? I felt the need to start another blog for the purpose of anonimity. It can't can't can't leak out to the all-seeing eye who I am and where I am and what I am. Do you see my problem?

Anyways, here I am. Feel free to enjoy my linguistic lust, among other things. :)

-Pretty Hyperbole